Paused Log -- Legionnaires Three: Heartbeat

[evilbeej]

09/01/2004

02:06 AM
Logfile from Brave and the Bold.

"Thanks for both being here."

It helps to calm him, a great deal, to actually have you here with him. Going over this in his head, ever since he sent out the request for you come see him, Garth Ranzz hs been worried. Panicked. Scared. And a great many other uncertain things. But he's ever been one to back down from anything, especially when it comes to dealing with Saturn Girl and Cosmic Boy - or as Live Wire will always think of them, Imra and Cos.

Having modified Cos' hair to be more like his, Garth has since changed it back and no longer is he wearing his own uniform. Here in plain clothes, Garth made sure to arrive earlier in the day, to have some time to think through this all again. The site? It should well be familiar. It's the very spot where three young kids cme together all those years ago to save one R.J. Brande.

Obviously, Garth has something on his mind he needs to talk about.

Dressed in her plain clothes as well (a pair of replica twencen white denim jeans and a t-shirt with a white jacket over it), Imra switches on her Omnicon, projecting the image of Rokk Krinn, hologram at large. For her own part, she tries not to smile, it's so good to have Garth back, she's missed him so much over the last year.

The significance of the location is not lost on her. Even among the sounds of the arrivals and landings at Metropolis Spaceport, she can easily hear Garth. Sliding mentally against his mind, she doesn't poke inside to ask him anything, she just the familiar, reassuring mental presence, the pattern of the man she loves. That's what's most important to the Titanian, her love and the man she intends to marry is back. Everything else can be dealt with now. Her world is back on an even keel.

And that last -- Imra being /balanced/ again, Garth being there and himself and /safe/ again -- that's what meant the most to Cos, to Rokk Krinn.

The three of them, they've always balanced each other out. A jock, a snoop, and a drifter, as someone said: who'd've thought /they/ would usher in the new age of heroism? The Legionnaires Three, the Founders. Best friends, solid friends, to hell and back within a month of their inception.

Yes, Rokk knows this place, too - who could forget? Certainly no one that was there that day, and /definitely/ not these three, or the man whose life they saved. Their arrival here, the choice Garth made in location, though -- it's faintly unnerving for the digital Braalian, as is seeing Garth with his hair dyed back to Rokk's black. Therefore, when he and Imra get close enough for Garth talking, it's clear from Cos's expression that he's concerned, wondering what's up, what's wrong.

For his own part, Cos is still the oddly streamlined, cartoonish version of himself -- but dressed equally casually in a Braalian Meteors jersey and jeans, and big white sneakers. "Garth -- what is it? Why here, why not on Legion World?" Blue eyes -- all three young people, blue eyes -- but Rokk's, they're wide and bright, serious.

Trusting Imra now more than he ever as, Garth's mind is very open to her. He know she won't pry. Besides, his mind is very much blanketed with his adoration and afection for her. She won't have to look beyond that to know what's on his mind. Turning, as if by instinct, when she arrives he has to smile. She still takes his breath away today, like she did that day - thought not all for the same reasons. Rather, it's for all those reasons and -more-. "Hey you. I've -missed- you, Imra." And truer words Garth Ranzz has never said.

But then he sighs. Before he can go into that more, he has to explain just why he's asked you both here. But he has to smirk, looking at Cos with Rokk's own body, saying with no small amount of satisfaction, "Looks like I got the drop on you for once."

It's with another sigh he begins. "Maybe it's what I've been through but... I've been thinking a lot. Been thinking over a lot of things lately. About what I did, about what I have learned..." At this he taps the side of his head, eluding to what he's learned by sharing headspace with Cos. "First off, I'm sorry. Sorry for throwing my life away like I did to stop Jan. Yes, it what was done but... I guess we'll never know if there was another way." Here he looks to Imra, smiling softly. "For once I could have listened to have found a better way, rather than rushing right in. I don't regret it, and I want to thank you both for getting me back. Cos, for physically, and Imra for giving me cause to come back."

Yet... there is the distinct thought that there is more yet still to be shared.

Imra Ardeen waits, nodding to Garth but remaining physically silent. Mentally, she lets him know that whatever he has to say Rokk is his best friend and Imra more then a best friend, so much more. Whatever it is, neither will think any less of him for saying it.

Truth be told, she has to restrain herself from hugging Garth. She's missed him so very, very much and just wants to spend the next month alone with him... not that that is even possible with Legion Business and all, but a girl can dream.

"Garth--" starts Cos, taking a step forward, hand outstretched as if to place it on the Winathian's shoulder - but the hand curls and closes just before it gets there; no touch, and Garth groused enough when /Tinya/ ever did it to him. The Braalian's expression started out completely serious, but at the difficulty, it takes on a certain wryness. "Garth, you kept me alive just as much as the reverse. You still /are/. Besides - the Legion takes care of its own. We made sure of that when we started." Then he says more quietly, putting his hands in his pockets, looking relaxed, "And anyway, what are friends for?"

Stepping forward, Garth reaches out to Imra, as he uses Cos' hands to wrap about her to draw him to him. He doesn't need to read her mind to know it, because the same thing she's thinking, so is her. So very much. Embracing her tightly, he squeezes firm. "I love you, Imra Ardeen. I want you to not just know it, but to hear it. In the end, it was our love I held onto and that one helped me to find my way back to you. Long ago someone made a promise to you," Garth says then as he leans back, slipping a look to Cos. Yes, -that- promise. Garf knows of it too now. But he looks back to Imra, his face so very close to her's. "I promise you that as long as you love me I will -always- find my way back to you." Okay?

But here he looks to Cos, or rather the image that remains of him. "Apparently friends are for helping to avoid death," he has to smirk. "But you're right, Rokk. You always are. Save for about -yourself-." At this he turns fully to his best friend. "The Legion takes care of their own... but just when are you going to start taking care of yourself? Hrm?"

Imra Ardeen wraps her arms around Garth's waist and turns slightl to look at Cos, while leaning her head onto Garth's shoulder. "I'll always be here for you to come back to, always." The tone in her voice is dead serious. She loves this young man with everything she has, would go to any lengths to get him back were he gone. She needs to speak to him later, on matters of their future, but for now, this is good. Better then good, this is great.

Nodding and regarding Cos, she merely backs up Garth's words silently. She's been worried about Cos for a while now, ever since she realized just how deeply he needed Garth to survive in his own body.

Cos simply spreads his hands, watching the two of them. There's a hint of rue in his face, dry entertainment, a little chagrin. Sheepishness, maybe. "I'm sorry," he says, *meeting* their eyes, looking from one to the other. Faint little smile. "I was worried about you two. And you know me and promises. I'm seriously considering putting a new clause in section 4.2 of the charter, by the way -- concerning us three and the incapacitation or apparent death of any of us. As in, the present one or two get watched like hawks by the rest of the Legion until the other one or two are safe and sound. Ever notice we have a tendency to get a little single-minded...?" Way to try and dissemble, Cosmic Boy. They /know/ you better. You can't change the subject on /them/.

Imra Ardeen blinks and looks at Garth, her smile becoming a bit lopsided. She knows there's been talk of such a clause for quite some time, but...that's not /this/. Squeezing his side in a spot she knows to be particularly sensitive, she brings them back. "Cos, Garth didn't bring us all together on the spot this all started just so you could suggest amendments to the Constitution. He /has/ to have brought us here to heighten the drama of some big thing he has to say," and here she eyes Garth, "so spill."

Holding Imra, even though it's not with his own body, Garth can't help but think just how difficult this is. What he has to do hurts, -so much- because not of what he has to give up but because of what he's managed to find all over again. But as he pulls Imra to him, Garth has to find a smile becuse he knows he's about to get away with pulling a Rokk. So -this- is what it's like to be Cosmic Boy. "She's worried about you too," Garf shares, about Imra. He doesn't need to be told it to know it's true, and he knows it will help to sell what he has to say.

"Here's how it's going to be. First off, you're going back to your body, -this- body. Your body. I'm going to go into the digitized-whatchama-thingy because I'm going to go home. I have... I have a -lot- to think about, and Ayla's there and my family needs help, Mekt too. I -need- to go home, and I know you'l both understand that. So the holobody will be mine while they work out a way to clone me a working real body. And Imra's going to stay with the Legion, not only to look after you - the silent promise that she's alwaysmade to us -both, Rokk - but also because the Legion needs her. She'll visit, I promise, even if I have to come claim her to do it."

But here he points a finger at Cos. "And -you- are going to start living your life, Cos. Even if it's just in a small way, but you -can't- be all the Legion, all the time. You have to start trusting us, just as we trust you. We love you, Rokk - myself especially. All my life I've chased an ideal of my brother, a brother I didn't really have. Ironic, perhaps, that I came to find him eventually when I met you. But, so help me Krinn, if you don't start getting your act together and caring for yourself as well... body or no, I'll kick your behind from here to LegionWorld and back." And that's his -promise- to Cos. "Oh, and you're going to tell Jenni how you -really- feel about her, or I will for you."

Imra Ardeen blinks as she holds Garth... "What?" She actually sounds diappointed, upset that he won't have a body soon. "You're... leaving?" She sounds incredulous, shocked, upset, confused, all in two little words. It's... hard to take. Maybe even harder for her then it is for Cos to hear. She JUST got her lover back and he's leaving her again. It feels like somone just yanked the world out for under her, leaving her without a stable base once more.

Rokk Krinn simply stares, for a /long/ moment.

Heartbeat.

Heartbeat.

It's like slow motion, in his digitized perception; his perception that can hear /their/ hearts beating, can see so much more and so much less -- it's like slow motion. Garth's words processing, parsing; Imra's reaction; feels like underwater, feels like through a firewall, comparisons running in the background, phrases, logic--

"--Garth..! It -- I -- no, *no*, I *can't*, I mean, I can't even /use/ it yet, it won't /work/ for me...!"

Wide eyes, pain inside, embarrassment and the agony of defeat. The weight of not being good enough. Of trying so hard, of trying to /hide/ the problem until it was no longer an issue -- hiding it so well that Garth couldn't even tell. "There's been -- Garth, the electricity, it -- there's been too much. You, you /are/ that body's neural impulses, motor skills, ability to think and /function/ -- there was too much. I *died*. You brought /me/ back just as much as I brought /you/ -- on Braal, in the lens -- then Validus on Colu, and the Roboticans again on /their/ world -- you're *in* there. Get cut and I promise you won't bleed anything but energy, like you and Ayla used to when you got hurt...and my body wasn't /built/ for that." It's hurting him a lot more than they've ever /seen/ for him to admit any of this, to admit defeat, to admit vulnerability. "And it's breaking. I could digitize myself -- but I don't want us to risk losing you if you tried it, and I'd've never tried it if I didn't /have/ to."

He almost looks smaller, younger. More detailed, but younger. What's there in *full*, rather than the extrapolation thereof. He looks about as old as he did when they met him, and the look in his eyes is the one that Lyle noticed just before the two Founders left for Robotica in one body, with a mad plan. The one that chilled Lyle to the bone. Honest fear. Frayed, frightened, holding things together. Don't look, don't look at me. You might see. Might see where I've failed. Where I admit I should have relied on you, but I didn't, and I lost -- but it started when you were /gone/. "Doctor Gym'll -- he's sequencing your DNA, I /promise/ he is, he /said/ he was nearly done -- and he'll grow a body for you, and then, then Imra can put you back in while Ayla's bringing you to life, just like we brought /her/, and when you're safe, safe where you need to be, it'll be easier waiting for my body to /work/ again -- it has a lot of regeneration to do--"

Finally, the holographic Braalian explodes in a nervous, shaky laugh. "I *knew* you'd never notice you were walkin' around partially lobotomized -- I mean, heck, you're /used/ to it!" Retreat into the haven of immaturity, silly stupid jokes, the joshing of friends, nasty from anyone else but a reassuring thing from /this/ one, the best friend, the one who's been acting off, the one who Imra's worried isn't there /enough/ to actually be himself--

Looking back to Imra, Garth frowns, though it is Cos' brow he frowns with. "Imra... No, I'm not leaving. But I do have to go home. Look at all I've been through, that -we- have been through. Rokk saved us, saved me. But it's not fair to him that it's like this. It's not fair to me, to us. I love you Imra, with more than just my body but until I have -my- body..." He doesn't feel right sharing that. "I want you to come, to visit. I want you to get to know my parents, for them to get to know you because when I -do- get mmy body back, I want you to be there. So that I can promptly get on bended knee and give you another ring, one I've waited far, far too long to give." Sighing, he leans forward a little, his forehead to her's. "I know this is a lot to ask, Imra. But you have to know that this is for the best, please trust me. I'm not known for my thinking, but I assure you I've thought this one through. The Legion -really- needs you right now, and I do too. This is a way to have both." Sighing, he adds, "It's the best way. You're not going to lose me, Imra. Not even for a moment."

"Plus," he then says with a smirk as he leans back, all but giggling as Imra has toouched that sensitive spot ont he side of Cos' body, "You'll have the big baby over there to look after."

Here he looks over to Cos. "Cos, I was in your head to. I know all of this. I didn't say it would be just this moment, but they can clone your a new body or repair this one far faster than they can me for mine. Yes, the damage is extensive, but stop making it an -excuse-. Stop running away, Rokk. Seriously. This -has- to be set right. You're going back in and I'm taking a seat on the bench."

Turning to face Cos more, sure to keep Imra in his arms, Garf shakes his head. "Just like why they couldn't regrow me an arm, my electrical nature makes it difficult to simply replace something biological. If anything, it will be easier for me to be in the holosphere thing. But Rokk, please... What will kill me faster is to watch you kil yourself for us. No more, Cos. No sprocking more."

Imra Ardeen hugs Garth tight, to her, this hurts but at the same time, she knows the future will be better if Garth gets his own body back. Tears well in her eyes, confused tears of hope, fear and joy all at the same time... and sadness, deep sadness that he's going to go home and leave her to take care of Cos... tears for Cos as well, though even she could not explain why.

For once, she is completely silent, even her mind withdrawing back into itself, touching no one. Her thoughts are a jumble and she does not wish to share that chaos with anyone right now. Looking to Cos... her tears begin to slide down her cheeks. She has no idea what to say, what to do, how to react in this situation.

Fists clenched at his sides like a kid sidekick, eyes wide and more terrified every time, every different way Garth finds to insist, Cos takes a step back from the two -- a pointless motion; Imra's holding the Omnicom that's his sight and hearing, his senses -- and fades slightly, because the range on your average Omni isn't spectacular. Fade, derezz. A little at the edges, bit by bit.

"Garth, I *won't* -- Imra, I...I don't even know if you can *see* me, my mind, from here, I don't know -- but -- I *can't* -- /please/, Garth -- I can't do it again. I don't want the memories, I don't /want/ to remember, I can't be dead and alive at the same time /again/, I *CAN'T*--"

Imra /can/ see. Grife knows how, but she could read Kara, she could read Tinya when Tinya was /honestly/ dead -- she can read Cos. Rokk. Rokk Krinn, who brought with him only those memories that he felt he couldn't risk operating without, and those that meant the most to him. Rokk Krinn, who left out the part of his personality, in transferring himself, that would be bothered by the fact that he doesn't have all his memories or personality /on/ him, so to speak. Because they're in /storage/. Cos, who has enough to worry about -- Cos, who *couldn't* rid himself of the sensation of being /dead/. Who remembers Jenni talking to his comatose body, remembers all of it. And Garth, grife help him, Garth remembers too. It was before he remembered he was /Garth/ -- they are Cosmic Boy's memories -- but they're shared. They're shared. And it was something that, since then, the Braalian has left shut off in his mind, closed away, dark and safe locked. Remembering--

--remembering it's dark, it's cold, I am not alive, I don't care about anything. Detachment. Alone, but that's all right. Unmoving, but that's all right. Recording. Impressions, sounds, sensations -- recording, not understanding. Worse than an unliving machine -- because an unliving machine, as opposed to a Robotican, never knew anything else. Never knew life. Buried alive in an isometric landscape, memories faithfully building up, dutiful -- and personality /in/ a machine, working diligently, helping someone else, making someone else safe. But the memories from the *body*--

And it will happen again if he has to go back in. Growing a new body, it's much faster in the thirty-first century -- much faster than repairing a severely broken one, one that's burnt out from the inside. Gym'll suggested cloning a new one, but Cos refused-- he /wants/ it back. Just, not before it's ready.

Shaking desperation. Awful fear. And the saddest and most brilliantly disgustingly horrifyingly heroic thing about it is...if it meant someone else's life, he wouldn't say a word. There'd be no hesitation. He'd do it again...

...in a heartbeat.

Why does he have the sinking feeling, looking between you two,, that he's seen this before? From Imra's lament to Rokk's horror... the closest Garth can come to putting something tangible to the sensation is the feeling he's had when staring at the hollow cowl of the Time Trapper.

But just like in those moments, Garth plows ahead. Pushing his fears aside, he simply forgets about them. Why? What great heroic thing inspires him to be so blind to the dangers before him? Why, concern for those he loves the most.

With a hand to Imra's cheek, to help brush those tears away, he whispers to her. "I want to prove to the cosmos how much I love you, Imra. I just need to be whole to do it." Because not only does he deserve that much, not only does Imra deserve it, but they -both- deserve it.

Looking over to Rokk, Garth sighs. "Cos... you know the reason you hold the Legion together? It's because you see in each of us what we all know to be in you. You're a hero to us all. You're -my hero-, Rokk. If it can be done, -you- can do it. But you can't run from it, you just can't. It's not fair, Rokk. She deserves to know how you feel." With that he holds a hand out to Cos, trying to urge his friend to come back to them, to join them. "Please, Rokk."

Imra Ardeen nods and leans her head against Garth's. She can't stop crying, it's just so hard not to right now. "I know Garth, I know all to well but just because I know, doesn't mean it makes it any easier to accept in my heart. You know how hard it is sometimes for me to keep myself in check when... when I let go." She knows Cos is in just as much discomfort right now, finding it so hard to accept, perhaps harder then she is.

--pause--