"I found an appalling piece of literature."

The Pun Master Versus the Infinite Kid, Sidekick to Para Dox

Part One

"Ha-HA! Without Para Dox to stand behind, Infinite Kid, you are HELPLESS! I will punish you with my evil puns!"

"Think again, Pun Master. I only fight you for my own amusement! If I so chose, I could stretch the time dynamics of this confrontation and so avoid the whole thing. But I find your miserable attempts at humor morbidly fascinating!"

"No! No! Don't humor me!"

"Nothing could make you humorous, Pun Master. On the other hand, I could break your humerus..."

"Ooh, good call. Nice one. But you'll fall to my awesome powers yet, Kid! I'll just take out my trusty Pun-Gun and RIDDLE your head with wordplay!"

"Not so fast, Pun Master. Literally! I'll just slow time down and take that nasty weapon off your hands."

"Aaahh! No! I'm the Master of puns; you aren't supposed to make them up! Give me my Pun-Gun back! Infinite Kid, this can't go on...forever!"

"Touche'. But you're wrong, I can make this go on as long as I want!"

"No, Kid, you won't for once. I invented a time-dampening field generator and now there's no way for you to escape!"

"Holy injustices, Para-- oops, wrong paradigm. You don't just play words, you play dirty!"

"At least I don't play dirty words!"

"Ow! Owowouch! That one was nasty!"

"And there's more where that came from, Kid. In fact, I would even say I had an infinite store!"

WILL THE INFINITE KID SURVIVE WITHOUT HIS POWER?

WILL THE MACHINE BREAK AND BRING ABOUT THE KID'S TIMELY RELEASE?

WILL YOU SURVIVE THIS STORY?

Tune in next time to find out! Get it? Time? Get it?

Will the hurting stop? Find out in this exciting new installment!

The Pun Master Versus the Infinite Kid, Sidekick to Para Dox

Part Two

Last time, the Infinite Kid was
incapacitated by a time-
dampening field generator,
and losing hard to his foe,
the PUN MASTER!

"Please, Pun Master! No more! What do you want from me?"

"Your loyalty and service...forever! And your assistance in annoying people with terrible plays on words!"

"Never, Pun Master. You know I fight for the cause of justice, which includes literary decency. Your puns just don't fit the bill."

"Well, just see how you like being tied up next to this phaser set on 'pun'!"

"Oh, no! Anything but that! (What he doesn't know is that although I am tied up, I can still reach my time-dampening field signal jammer! He knows I am a former Boy Scout, but he obviously didn't think I was diligent and learned my lesson to always Be Prepared!)"

"Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Now that I control the Infinite Kid, Para Dox and all of the Kid's associates will soon follow! I'll control the entire Legion of Ludicrous Heroes! Ha-ha-ha!"

"You are a fool, Pun Master, and you have fallen into the trap that all evil villains, uh, fall into sooner or later!"

"You aren't in any position to insult me, Kid, and anyway soon you'll be my slave. Another ten minutes of those phaser-puns, and you'll have no resistance to my will whatsoever!"

"Thanks for completing your exposition, Pun Master. You plan might have worked, but you told it to me! Now I know exactly what to do to stop you!"

"It...it cannot be! Is that a time-dampening field signal jammer I see in your hand? Curses! Foiled again!"

"Now all I have to do is shift the time to ten minutes into the future, and this awful pun-stun-phaser-laser-whatever machine's batteries will be dead, because you're a geek. Then I can summon the do-gooder police patrol to come and put you away!"

"I should have remembered that you are always prepared for everything, having been a Boy Scout. But you won't catch me this time! I'll get you yet, Infinite Kid!"

"Oh, no! The Pun Master is getting away! But there's no time for a chase scene today, even though I have infinite control over, well, time...so remember to drink your Babbletine and we'll see you this time next week!"

Characters and story were copyright (c) 1993 Gina Donahue, but dude. Get it away from me. :D