evilbeej: (Marvel: Alistaire Banana)
Okay.

So since...

Spoilers here! )

...I have begun reading comics again, as promised.

I had already begun poking at Marvel again with the Wisdom miniseries, and now Paul Cornell <3 <3 <3 is doing a Captain Britain series including MI-13 and it's basically EVERY AWESOME PIECE OF MARVEL UK AND EXCALIBUR EVER are showing up and being AWESOME.

But Marvel is being STUPID and it is not available for subscription.

So please. Call them and ask to subscribe to it. Tell your friends. Get them to call them and ask to subscribe to it.

Maybe if enough people call in and ask to subscribe, they'll cave.

Maybe it'll take email, I don't know. I've never done this before.

Their subscriptions dept number is 800 217 9158.
evilbeej: (Cos: The Sting)
Okay, so, since 1999, every time I check the 'canonical'/'mainstream' Legion book out, whatever it's going by, it's WORSE EVERY TIME.

It went a little like this.

1) I thought I picked up Legion, but WHOOPS, it was a ZOMBIE COMIC.
2) Okay, this looks like it might be okay, it-- WOAH WAIT WHAT? You... Zoe is a THINGY and Jeka is a NAGA? And... yo, /lame/, Ra's is a BATMAN villain, you have your OWN epic villains, you could at LEAST have used an ACTUAL immortal and not a cheater. But whatever. Okay. OH SHIT WHAT? Universo is-- no, okay, I disow-- aw shit, you went there. You just pissed on your own continuity with this Superboy/Church of S shit. FOAD. Oh and by the way your art may be critically acclaimed but all your faces look the same. Stupid /stupids/. And your characterization is for shit. You are not Warren Ellis writing the Authority as a crackheaded summer action flick *statement* on the *taste* of COMICS READERS. You're SUPPOSED to be writing the goddamn LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES. Not fucking Warhammer 40K novels. ARGH ARGH ARGH moving on.
3) O hai, Gail Simone! You don't suck! I hold out hope for this serie-- oh. You're writing a series cap. Cancellation. Right. Okay. I...
4) ... what?
5) Uh. Okay...
6) When did we become the X-Men? Isn't this 'feared and hated by those who we're sworn to protect' thing a little old?

WTF guys.

Since 1999. That's nine years of this. Nine years of constantly changing your bloody minds. Nine years of 'but the kids love that dark shit, right?' Nine years of 'grit and angst sell'. I thought that went out in the mid-90s. I thought that went out with Liefeld. I thought that went out with extraneous straps and belts and shoulderpads.

Then again, I also thought that since the Legion-as-gritty-future had been done *well* once and rebooted, you guys wouldn't try doing the Legion-as-gritty-future *badly*. Fuck you and fuck your weaselly message-board toadies who think Mark Millar is a genius instead of a goddamn hack.

I THOUGHT THAT COMICS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

This shit just makes me tired.

PS I hate everything.

PPS I hate the fact that I finally understand the POV that hated *my* Legion. But I don't think I can forgive the ones that still hate mine but like the new one.
evilbeej: (Bart: Nnnnaagh...)
Impulse looks aggrieved. "HOW CAN THEY MAKE THE COMIC SUCK? The /cartoon/ doesn't suck at /all/!
How can they POSSIBLY make the COMIC suck?"
Batgirl blinks?
J'onn J'onzz says "Which comic?"
Artemis says "Impulse is all bent out of shape over the death fo Cable"
Impulse says "The LSH comic based on the saturday morning cartoon. I figured since the cartoon
was awesome, the comic based on it should at LEAST be better than the current-canon LSH."
Impulse says "BUT IT SUCKS!"
J'onn J'onzz says "Cable died?"
Impulse says "...I don't know, I've got DSL."
Impulse says "Ha ha."
evilbeej: (Cos: Iconic)
1) Cosmic Boy, Saturn Girl, Live Wire
2) Apparition, Triad
3) Leviathan (d), Invisible Kid, XS, Chameleon, Kid Quantum I (d)
4) Brainiac 5, Spark
5) Andromeda, Shrinking Violet, Kinetix
6) Superboy (hon)
7) Star Boy, Gates
8) M'Onel, Ultra Boy, Element Lad
9) Magno, Umbra, Sensor
10) Monstress
11) Kid Quantum II, Karate Kid
12) Thunder
13) Wildfire
14) Bouncing Boy
15) Shikari, Timber Wolf, Gear
16) Polar Boy
17) I-45 (hon), Supergirl (Cygnus, voted in later as such)
18) Dreamer, Superman (hon)
19) Matter-Eater Lad, Fortress Lad (hon)
20) Sun Boy
21) Catalyst
22) Impulse (hon)
evilbeej: (Lydda + Rokk)
From: kengale at comicbookradioshow dot com
Date: 11 January 2006 11:10:35 pm GMT-05:00


Hi, folks,

Please Post and Forward
to appropriate chat rooms, web pages and e-lists!

1. Next show: Tuesday night (Wednesday morning) Jan. 17 (18). I'm playing a
tape of legendary editor Julie Schwartz's last interview, conducted just a
few months before he passed away by Marc Svensson and me, where he talks
about some of his contemporaries in science fiction and comics such as John
Broome, Bill Finger, Alfred Bester, C.L. Moore, Henry Kuttner and Mort
Weisinger. I'll play it at 4:30 AM so I can take your phone calls about
Julie in the last half hour of the show.

2. A free sample of the 'Nuff Said! dvd (the face for radio is on video!) is
posted on the web site in several formats so you can see it whether you have
dial-up, a mac or a pc. It has a little of each artist interview (Mike
Kaluta, Mike Oeming, Sean Chen & Louis Small, Jr.).
http://www.comicbookradioshow.com/dvd1samples.html

3. My previous show, with Christian Gossett, is still available on the web
at http://www.archive.wbai.org. Go to Jan. 4, 3:30 AM. He's the
writer/artist for The Red Star, which used to come out of Image, but is now
self-published.

4. Also on the 'Nuff Said! web site are the radio interviews I did with
Scott Roberts, Faith Hubley and Will Eisner plus a link to David Bernstein.
Go to http://www.comicbookradioshow.com/ra1.html

Please spread the word! Thanks!

Fannishly,
Ken Gale, producer, interviewer and host
http://www.comicbookradioshow.com
P.O. Box 1028, Gracie Station, NYC 10028
evilbeej: (Ranty Chibi Me)
Don't read this if you're gonna bitch at me about my opinions. )
evilbeej: (Lucas)
Natasha Irons' booty's cuter than yours.

Halloween.

Oct. 31st, 2005 04:51 pm
evilbeej: (Cheerfully Obscene)
For this year, I am doing tech support dressed as---



--Alan Moore.

I will attempt to acquire pictures for the unbelievers.
evilbeej: (Che!)


Ganked and modded from [livejournal.com profile] infinitepryde:

Ask any of my role-playing characters, including NPCs and the characters I still have in development/have plans for in the near future, a question and I will answer in an in-character manner.

At the moment, not counting my regulars that're currently being played by Keetee:
Impulse, Cosmic Boy, Natasha Irons, Sandy Hawkins, Lydda Jath, Lori Morning, Pete Wisdom, Heinlein Filmore, Vesper Antagonist, Orient.

If you know any of my unlisted regulars and would prefer to ask them, go for it.

(God I hate apps. Why can't I just play? *sigh* (I know.))
evilbeej: (Bart: It's like this...)
For all you poor creatures who long to read Teen Titans #27, scripted by Gail Simone, without your EYES BLEEDING

AND FALLING OUT


because of the Liefeld 'illustrations'...

I've taken it upon myself to alter the comic, page by painstaking page, and scan them so that *you*, dear readers, don't have to subject yourselves to any more painfully inaccurate drawings. Thus far I've done the cover and 10 of 22 pages.

The preview, my loves:
Tolerable Liefeld Art!! )
evilbeej: (Cos: No Time For Subtlety)
Oh. My. Grife. Lyle? Look at her hair.
It is so blonde. *scoff* She looks like,
one of those Brainiac 5 girls.
But, y'know, who understands Brainiac 5? *scoff*
He only talks to her, because,
she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, her hair, is just so blonde. *scoff*
I can't believe it's just so yellow, it's like,
what the sprock, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... blonde!

I like blonde chix and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with a great big rack
Balanced blonde hair down her back
You get sprung, gotcha wood like steel
'Cause you notice those tits is real
Wonder Twins in the shirt she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
So your lack of brains don't bore me
On my wall, racks and hair, make me so horny

Ooh, Head-o-blonde-hair,
You say you wanna get in my lab?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't no brown-haired groupie
I've seen them workin'
Hell with them urchins
She's strong, strong,
Got it goin' wearin' just a thong
I'm tired of holovids
Sayin' diversity in my crib
I'm the only one you should ever ask
What kinda blonde I want with that
So, Legion! (Yeah!) Legion! (Yeah!)
Has your chick set up us the blonde? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'er to hit it! (Hit it!) Hit it! (Hit it!)
Sprockin', I'd hit that!
Baby got BLONDE!
Baby got BLONDE!

I like 'em stacked, and big
Not wearin' goddamn wigs
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like a Terran
Now here's my error
You're like my mother
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout new toys
'Cause silicone parts go in androids
I want 'em platinum and juicy
So find that bright-haired double
Dox-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a look in that Hubble
So I'm lookin' at kinky holos
Watchin' these brunettes fightin' like Jo
They all jones green man-ho
But they can all mack on Lobo
A word to the blonde built sistas, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *sprock*
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm never sprockin' wrong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna make lotsa green babies {Yeah!}
Then bleach your hair! Grow it out!
Even brunette-daters gotta shout:
Baby got BLONDE!

Baby got BLONDE!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, style ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. Triple-breasted whore of Eroticon 6? Heh, only if she's blonde.


...ah god...one more verse to go...
evilbeej: (Cos: Heeeeeyyy...)
"Shiki the Squealer"

Folks, now here's the story 'bout Shiki the Squealer,
She had no clue she was a heart-stealer,
She was the roughest, toughest Kwai,
But Shiki had a set o' come-hither eyes.

Hi-de-hi-de-hi-di-hi!
Ho-de-ho-de-ho-de-ho!
He-de-he-de-he-de-he!
Ho-de-ho-de-ho!

Now, she learned the lingo from this guy, Wildfire,
And he taught her words you don't learn in a choir.
He took her over for a roll in the clover,
Got outta his bodysuit and told her to bend over.

Now, what you don't know's the thing about Drakey,
His wild-fire body means he got an antimatter snakey.
He wanted to get him some sweet Lonestar thang
But the second they touched, they was out with a bang!

Hi-de-hi-de-hi-di-hi!
Ho-de-ho-de-ho-de-ho!
He-de-he-de-he-de-he!
Ho-de-ho-de-ho!

Poor Shiki, poor Shiki, poor Shiki.

With apologies to Irving Mills, Clarence Glaskill, and Cab Calloway.

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